Really Deep Thoughts

Roll a New Leaf Over

2008-05-31T19:06:00.003-04:00

So for whoever still ventures over here....after much debate and thought I've decided to start blogging again. But I'm moving and should have it up and running in a week or so....so come join me :)

The New Blog

xoxo Falyn

:: Fall ::

2007-09-18T06:23:00.001-04:00

It's starting to feel like fall around here and that makes me happy. Time for hoodies with jeans a flipflops, windows wide open at night and cuddling under the blankets, gingersnap cookies with milk, my southwestern pumpkin soup, pumpkin patches, sweaters and cardigans, a big ole' pile of leaves for the boys to play in, Grey's Anatomy starts again (which I'm a little hestitant about)::sighs:: I really love this time of year.

"You will be the death of me....."

2007-08-16T19:50:00.000-04:00

I had gotten some emails about these books after the Scrapjack layout from last week. So, I figured I'd post about them, because they are just too wonderful to keep all to myself. :) First I want to say that these are wonderful, wonderful, wonderful books! Stephenie Meyer is such an excellent author, and with each book, they just keep getting better and better. They are Yound Adult books, but seriously, once you start, you can't put them down. When I read Twilight, I stayed up for two nights until 2AM, on a weeknight, and struggled the next two days at work from it. I just didn't want to go to sleep, I was sucked in a could not stop reading. So yeah, since it's YA the kissing scenes can be a little bit cheesy, but the rest of it makes up for it, and Edward, the vampire...is to die for(no pun intended). I wish he were my boyfriend. ::wink wink::

But in all seriousness, if you haven't read them, go to Border's tomorrow and pick them up. I think Twilight(the first one) is only like $8.99, New Moon(the 2nd one) and Eclipse (the 3rd one that just came out) are both hardbacks, so they can be a little pricey. But soooooooo worth the money. I promise you, you won't regret reading these books...it takes you to another time, another place...and after you're done, you wish you were a vampire. lol.

Yes, I am alive!

2007-08-02T21:39:00.000-04:00

Yes, I promise I'm alive....breathing and alive. Maybe not all there...maybe some bald spots in my hair (from ripping my hair out)...but I'm here. Busy and here. So, I have a lot of catching up to do....So I'll give you the run down for the past two and a half months:

1. I've photographed two weddings (soooo much work)
2. Me and Michael celebrated our 3 year anniversary
3. Me and Michael went to the Flip Flop Tour (lots of margarita's, beer, a beautiful day...and some good music to go along with it!)
4. Evan turned 5

Basically, those are the highlights, with little everyday things thrown inbetween. But the major thing...2 weddings. I've been up late editing almost every night. I never thought it would be this hard...lack of sleep, lack of creativity in everything else in my life, it's really draining...REALLY draining. I promised myself I wouldn't do weddings...but I gave in and did it. It's been a learning experience and lots of fun. :)

Scrapbooking has been put on the backburner...nothing extra for me...just DT and Scrapjack stuff. Speaking of Scrapjack...are you playing along? You better be because August is going to be one rockin' month!!! So go check it not if you haven't already.

Anyway...nothing really to say...like I said lack of creativity in everything else in my life, besides photo's...I'm just drained. I leave you with a photo from the wedding at a vineyard from a couple of weeks ago:

Loved this couple...it was such a relaxed wedding, full of love and fun and lots of wine (for them, not me. lol).

Seriously?

2007-05-18T17:20:00.000-04:00

Seriously.....because that's all I have to say about Grey's last night. So utterly disappointed...almost to the fact that I may not watch next season. Not one thing good happened last night. NOT one positive thing. I've been depressed all day from it. Seriously. Okay...one good thing came out of it...Burke has some good lines. His vows, the speech he made to Christina...his words are poetic. And did you notice that the girl McDreamy was flirting with last week was Mer's 1/2 sister. Come on people....if that's the direction they are going with next season, where McDreamy and her 1/2 sister get together....GAME OVER folks....I will definately not be watching. I can already tell I'm not going to be liking her, and I already want to rip her eyes out. RRRRRAAARRRRHHH. Oh, I'm so depressed.

So, in other news...more photo's. Meet Jen and Joel. So wanna hear a story? Kay...Meet Jen. I met Jen my freshmen year in college. We lived on the same floor in our dorms. Shout out to the 2000-2001 Rodney 3B girls. Kay...so me, Jen, and 4 other girls became close. We stayed close through college....blah, blah, blah. Kay, so I met my husband through Jen. Michael, my husband, has been best friends with Jen since they were in 5th/6th grade. He calls her parents "Mom and Dad," gone on family vacations with them when they were younger, etc etc etc...they call eachother brother and sister, because that's how they are. Think Dawson's Creek without all the mumbo jumbo love interest. So let's back up to my Junior year in high school. Joel joins my high school 1/2 through my Junior year. We become friends, we become boyfriend/girlfriend near the beginning of our Senior year in highschool...we date all the way through senior year into that summer...break up before freshmen year in college starts. Then, Jen and Joel meet our Junior year in college...NOT through me...and then they start to date....now they're getting married this October and me and Michael are both in the wedding. I swear...this is how Delaware is...everyone knows everyone through eachother, even if you don't know it yet. So...I got to take some cool pics of these two....thanks for putting up with me guys and making you guys sit in cruddy gas oil in a parking garage.

Is it May already?

2007-05-05T20:04:00.000-04:00

Seriously, Lana you're right....April 11th is way to long...geez April flew by. So I've just been busy...my computer is dead..I've just been away and outside since it's nice out....annnnnnnd....we have a new addition:

Meet Sam AKA Samantha, Sammy, Sam I am. She's a Chocolate Lab that we got two weeks ago. I finally gave in. Gave in to no sleep for a while, dog hair, and cleaning up little messes here and there....oh wait...I didn't get sleep and I had to clean up little messes before we got her...so not that much has changed :) She's a sweet, sweet dog. Michael has been wanting to get a dog way before we even started dating, and lately he's been talking about it...so finally two weeks ago...we did it, and got her.
Here's some recent photo's that I've been playing with...trying out new things...just having fun:

ANNNNND....I have a little confession. I'm an AI watcher. I've watched every season except for 1 and 3....and I'm seriously in love with Blake this year....seriously, best performance EVER on American Idol happened this past week. Watch here (put my music player on stop and WATCH!!!) Such an amazing performance!!!!

And if you want to check out an amazing designer check out Shannon on Etsy.,...I've purchased like 7 tops from her already....she's amazing and one of the nicest girls out there! And I really love them because I don't have the nicest tummy in the world (having two babies and one of them being 9lbs and 12 oz, really takes a toll on your muscles and skin), so they have a little extra flowiness to them so the shirt isn't skin tight on your stomach...if you buy something from her make sure you tell her I sent ya :)

And P.S. If you've emailed me in the past month and I haven't responded it's most likely because I did not get it. In the past 3 weeks I've had like 5 people tell me they emailed me and I'm not getting them...and they're not being sent to my spam folder either cause I check that too...so If you've emailed me, and I haven't responded, please send again. I promise I'm not ignoring you. I just haven't got it.

Have a great weekend! Falyn

tired much?

2007-04-11T20:35:00.001-04:00

tired much?, originally uploaded by Falyn Cahall.

And I found him sleeping just like this. preciousness. It's moments like this that make my heart swoon. And yes that is a PINK and white pacifier. When you're in desperate need, and pink is all they have left at Target, PINK will do just fine. This summer...the pacifier will disappear. Poor guy. I didn't have a problem with Evan. Evan was never attached like Lucas is. We took Evan's away right after he turned two and didn't have a problem. But with Lucas....completely different. It's his comfort...he's got his nunee(what we call the pacifier), his strawberry shortcake blankie(IT WAS MINE WHEN I WAS LITTLE, he kinda claimed it when he was six months old. And I know what you're all thinking....poor guy, he's got a pink nunee and a strawberry shortcake blanket....this kid is gonna have a complex when he grows up, but he's two, he doesn't know the difference....YET), and he plays with his hair....those are his three comforts. He needs those three things when he goes to sleep at night.

I've been neglecting my blog as of late. TO tell you the truth...it really has slipped my mind. I've been away from the computer the past few weeks....well away from the internet. I'm beginning to realize the internet can be a bad thing for my wallet. I've been extremely busy. I had two shoots the past few weeks and just finished up editing all of the photo's, made the announcements, and I just got a call yesterday for a shoot this weekend. After that I have two scheduled for May, and a wedding *GASP* in July. I'm really excited, and really nervous about it all. I'm confident, and yet I have doubts. I told myself I will NEVER do weddings...but it is for a friend of a friend, and it suppose to be really small and casual...a BEACH wedding....how exciting! So I said I would do it. Nerves, nerves, and more nerves...

I've just been thinking about things alot...prioritizing....realizing things....thinking, and more thinking. I got another mini promotion at work two weeks ago...and it's exciting...but I'm thinking...wow, am I really getting in too deep with this job? I know it's not something I want to do for the rest of my life....I really only plan to be there a few more years....but if I keep on taking these mini promotions...will I be able to quit in 5 years time? I wonder....

I hope you are all well...

And for you Lost watchers.....it's getting good again!!!!! :) xoxo

Feeling like BLAH

2007-03-29T06:28:00.001-04:00

Honey and the Great-Grandchildren., originally uploaded by Falyn Cahall.

SO I"m sick, I've been sick all week. BLAH. I hate being sick. I'm so miserable.

Nothing much going on in my life...same stuff, a different day. On 3/17 it was my Honey's(grandma) 80th birthday, and I got to take this shot of her and all the great-grandchildren. Don't you just love her boots?!?! lol. This photo just screams her. She loves kids, loves, loves, loves them. And this woman is one of the most kindest, warmest, loving women you would ever meet. Everyone who comes into contact with her falls in love with her in an instant. She is truely an inspiration, and someone I strive to be more like every day. I'm so thankful she had a part in raising me.

I hope everyone is well! ~Falyn

spring is in the air...

2007-03-23T07:07:00.001-04:00

spring is in the air..., originally uploaded by Falyn Cahall.

Thank you all for your birthday wishes!! And Mom you are right, I had to fill out something just the other day and had to check the 25-34 age range.....scary. :)

Loving that warmer weather is coming. Yesterday it was in the high 60's, and took the boys to the park (which is right behind our house since we live next to a school, lucky us). Evan and Lucas love to be outside....the winter stresses us out, because we're cooped up inside most of the time.

Happy Friday everyone....sorry I haven't been around a lot, I'm overwhlemed with lots of stuff, and now spring is here and I'm in a spring cleaning mood. And plus my computer is about to crash...but by the end of the summer, I should have my new iMAC notebook. WOOHOO....I've been waiting forever for one of these!!

25 years old....

2007-03-14T18:38:00.000-04:00

So, today I turned 25....at 6:26PM to be exact. 25 WOW. Really, 25? These past 5 years have flown by like no other. I still feel like that girl, 18, going to college, getting ready for a new beginning...only difference, I'm now married and have two kids, and I know a little more than I did from when I was 18. But, I still feel like that girl, waiting for something, with big ambitions, to break out and find herself.

I wonder if you ever feel old. I remember my mom-mom always saying that she still feels like she's 18, just the body physically wears down.

So what have I done in 25 years? I've lived in Philadelphia for 10 years, I've lived in Maryland for 13 years, I've lived in Delaware for 2 years, I've finished 3 years of college (I'll finish my last year, eventually), I've spent the night at least one night in 16 states, I've figured skated 16 of those 25 years, I've been to one other country, I've met people that have changed my life forever, I have 2 kids, and I'm married. I say that's a lot.

So, wine glass and beer mugs in the air...Happy Birthday to me :)

peace

2007-03-05T17:59:00.001-05:00

peace, originally uploaded by Falyn Cahall.

Sometimes, just sometimes...when your head is pounding, and the kids are screaming, and the huband is nagging...all you want is peace. Silence...no sounds, just stillness.

I'm an only child. I'm use to silence...I welcome silence, and I don't find it awkward. It's time to think, it's time to reflect, it's time to enjoy. I don't find silence much these days, especially with having two boys...where the sound of rockets and spaceships, cars and trains, WWF and monsters lurk everywhere in my house. And I don't mind it...I welcome that too...it makes me smile, it makes me laugh, it makes me witness the relationship of siblings that I never got to witness first hand...and I love it. But sometimes I miss the silence.

The other day, me and some women at work were talking about Britney Spears and how crazy she has become, which lead to a conversation about the whole Andrea Yates thing (I think that was her name). You know, the woman that drowned her 5 kids a few years ago? It's disturbing. I could never do that to any of my kids, I couldn't even imagine ever even thinking about it, and it brings me to tears when I think about it. BUT, and yes there is a BUT, I can somewhat understand why she did what she did.

Her reasoning: she did what she did because she felt like she failed at being a Mom. If you look at the facts (and I'm only going off of memory, because I was in highschool when this happened), she homeschooled all 5 of her kids, she was basically the one who took care of them 24/7 because of their religion, she was not allowed to have an outside life outside of her family, she suffered from postpartum depression, and the doctor even told her not to have anymore kids after #3, she was not allowed to go on birth control because of their religion.

It's sad really...that she may not have had someone there to say, "You know what, it's okay. It's okay that your kids get on your nerves, it's okay that they can annoy the crap out of you...IT'S OKAY!!!!!" I think our society makes motherhood out to be this thing that everything is peachykeen 100% of the time, full of lovey dovey things, butterflies and rainbows...when SOMETIMES (yes I'm emphasizing sometimes) it really isn't that way at all.

Look, I wouldn't trade being a Mom for ANYTHING. I love being a Mom, I love that I can love someone unconditionally, I LOVE BEING A MOM. But do I love motherhood? I would say 25% of the time, No. I'm a worrier, I worry ALL THE TIME. I pray throughout the day when I'm at work that God watches over Evan and Lucas, keeps his Angels around them, around my MIL's house, around Evan's bus and school. I pray because that's all I can do. But I worry and I hate the feeling of worrying.

And there are just some days when Evan and Lucas have gotten on my last nerve, with fighting, with yelling at eachother, with backtalking me, with not listening to me, and on and on and on....and at the end of the day, I just can't wait for them to go to sleep. Now, I'm probably going to have some haters slandering me for saying all this...but that's how I'm wired. Sometimes they just get on my nerves...but it's like with any other relationship. Sometimes my husband gets on my last neve, sometimes my best friend gets on my last nerve...and when I lived with my parents, they got on my last nerve. And you know what. IT'S OKAY!!!! It's okay that these people can get on my nerves because it's one more reminder that we're human. we're living and we're feeling.

I don't think it makes me a bad Mom that, JUST SOMETIMES, my boys get on my nerves. I love them unconditionally, I would risk my own life for them if it meant saving them, I make sure I say "I love you" to them at least 5 times a day to make sure they know it without a doubt, I would do anything for them. It's just sad that people like Andrea Yates didn't have someone there to say it was okay to feel like that. It's sad that she didn't have someone there to give her a break. I'm not saying that what she did was right, because in NO way was it right. I'm saying that I can understand why someone would feel like they've failed as a Mom. I'm saying I can understand that raising five kids, basically on your own, with no breaks, with no touch from the outside world, with have a depression so deep can drive you to that point. Would I ever get to that point, Hells no, because I wouldn't let myself get to that point and I know that I have a husband who loves me enough and saw that I was getting into a deep depression, he would do something about it, he would step in get me help, give me a break, and be there with me until I got better. And if you're reading this, and your kids NEVER get on your nerves...good for you and feel blessed. I'm just not wired that way.

I don't know what brought this out today, maybe hearing all this Britney Spears stuff wherever I go...maybe it's all those Women's Studies classes I took in college that are all coming back to me. lol.

But I thank God everyday that I have a husband who understands that sometimes, I just need silence, I need 15 minutes to myself, to think, to calm down, to just hear silence.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

2007-02-14T06:32:00.001-05:00

Vday take 110, originally uploaded by Falyn Cahall.

Can you tell Evan's thrilled? LOL. Well he really is even though this picutre might not show it. He gets to wear his pj's to school today because they are celebrating Clifford's Bday and having their Valentine's Day party. Last night me and Evan stayed up to make his Valentine's.

Remember those days? Making Valentine's for school and handing them out to your friends. Ahhh, memories. Loved Vday in elementry, absolutley HATED it in highschool/college..this year, I'm all about it. Maybe it's because Evan is in school and I'm reliving it through him. lol.

Well I hope your Valentine is good to you....filled with lots of chocolates, kisses and mushy gushy stuff. lol.

And check out scrapjacked tomorrow, that's when we announce the winner and the new Jack!!!!!!! WOOHOO!

waiting....

2007-02-05T06:58:00.001-05:00

waiting...., originally uploaded by Falyn Cahall.

This weekend I was lucky enough to photograph this couple (or should I say three?), Cassandra and Corey. They are the sweetest people! I just love this photo. love the sun coming through the background, it makes it seem angelic or dreamlike.

Scrapjacked 2 is up today, so check out the blog it's going to be really fun!

And if you emailed me this past week, I'll be responding to you tonight, that is on my list of things to do today. I swear, there are not enough hours in the day. Have a wondeful day everyone!

Lashes

2007-02-01T17:32:00.001-05:00

Lashes, originally uploaded by Falyn Cahall.

Love the boogers lashes in this photo.

I can't believe how January flew by. Been busy, like always, and it doesn't stop. Crazy busy at work and that just adds to my stress.

Well, last friday, Michael came home with this movie....The Illusionist. I did not remember the previews of this from a few months back, but apparently, Michael did. Now, if you knew my husband, you would know he doesn't always have a nack for picking good movies, or maybe it's just movies that interest me, I dunno, but most of the time we are completely opposite when it comes to movie picking, except for movies like Underworld and Fifth Element, when we both can agree. So anyway, he comes home with this movie, and I'm like,"great, another movie to put me to sleep..." but to my utter amazement, I fell IN LOVE with this movie. LOVED it. It's gorgeous, and amazing, and almost fairytale-like. Everything about it is just beautiful. It's just one of those movies that makes you wish you were a story writer or novelist and you wish you could write a story like that. LOVE everything. *And Edward Norton is just hot in it* And I've watched it once more since this past weekend. So the COP finally picked an awesome movie...1 point for Michael.

Zingboom is up! Go check it out and the kits or March look amazing!!!!!!!!! Can't wait! I really had fun with this one, I had Toybox, and LOVEd the super hero paper, so fitting for my two boogers.

Michael turns 26 on Saturday....WOW, are we getting that old already?!?! I remember when I was pregant with Evan I was 20, and kept saying when he's 5 I'll be 25, and next month I will be 25, time really does fly once you start having kids, I remember growing up my mom always telling me, "Time flies, I can remember when you were my little baby..." And there I was behind her back, doing the whole eye rolling thing and going, "Yeah, yeah, yeah....." And guess what, Mom was right. You win Mom!!!!!!! :)

And, I don't know what it is, but this year I'm really into Valentine's Day, and trust me, growing up in highschool and college, I was that girl to despise it, but this year, I'm all about pink and red frosted and sprinkled cupcakes, hearts and kisses, and lovey dovey things, maybe it's just my baby fever leaking through, but NO, I will not have another one until I'm in a wedding this fall, and Disney World April 2008. MUST get through those two things before I can even start to think anything baby.

It's the weekend!!!!!

2007-01-26T20:08:00.000-05:00

FINALLY, did not think that this day would come. I'm at my parents for the night with the boys, my grandparents came down from Philly for the weekend.

So I've been busy....it's the end of the month...busy scrappin' for deadlines...

The Amber Ludlow class started this week WOOHOO! I'll have to share some photos from the first assignment, once I get home and can upload.

CHA starts soon. Can't wait to see all the new products, one day I hope to go to one of those shows.

And last but not least....I've been asked by the fabulous Christina Padilla to join in on some fun with ScrapJacked. Check it out, and check back with us on Monday, that's when we're going to post the first lift! It's going to be a fun time!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Self Portraits

2007-01-14T16:11:00.001-05:00

really liking the whole water thing., originally uploaded by Falyn Sarah.

One of my New Year's resolutions is to be in more photo's. A few weeks ago I was going through my files and realized I'm in NO photo's. I think I have about 2 photo's of me from 2006. SAD, I'm always the one behind the camera...never in front of the camera, so I made my resolution. And this is a great way to practice with self portraits. So my first self portraits were in the water. I was really inspired by some cool water shots that I've been seeing these past fews weeks, so I thought I would give it a shot. And I'm not being narcissistic, trust me.

I've also realized instead of experiencing life ALWAYS through the viewfinder, just to go out and experience more of life, without the camera. So another resolution. To leave my camera behind (not always, only sometimes), to join in on the fun, instead of capturing it. Which will be weird, because I've always had a camera with me since I was a freshmen in highschool. But, I'm really wanting to try with this resolution and WANT to make it work.

Hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Is it spring already?!?!

2007-01-06T14:39:00.001-05:00

looking in..., originally uploaded by Falyn Sarah.

Yeah, this weather has definately confused my immune system, I have one nasty cold and sore throat, thanks to this weather. Just a few days ago it was freezing, now it's like 60 degrees outside.

I've been super busy these past couple of weeks...but now that the holidays are over it's starting to calm down. Christmas was wonderful...the boys loved everything, New Years was great...got to see my family. I miss Philly...love Philly....I'm a city girl at heart ::smiles::: I dunno, there's just something about busy traffic, graffatti everywhere, police sirens every 10 minutes, and trash all over the place that seems comforting. Yeah, I know, I'm weird.

Been busy buying stuff on etsy. LOVE that place. I'm seriously addicted, move over eBay, here comes etsy. Annnd, I came across this litte guy and totally fell in love. He'll be one of my newest photography subjects ::wink wink::

So in other news...I have two shoots scheduled for this month ::WOOHOO::, good friends of ours got enagaged on New Years (soooo super excited for you Jen and Joel), and zingBOOM premiered. AWESOME Kits, I think there are a few left for preorders for Feb. so get them while you can, you don't want to miss and espcially if you love vintage stuff like me, you'll drool over them!!! So check them out!

ANNNND, super excited, I got into Amber Ludlow's class (Thanks Mom), super excited to be learning from her. She's got some mad talent, and I'm so pumped for this opportunity to learn more!

Happy 2007 everyone!

Merry Christmas!!!!!!

2006-12-23T22:34:00.001-05:00

, originally uploaded by Falyn Sarah.

WOW, this year has gone by so fast, I really can't believe it. It feels like just a month ago me and Michael were in Florida at Disney. I swear, with each year that goes by, it just gets faster and faster.

So, we're finally done our shopping, it was a mad house out there today. Seriously stood in line for a half an hour at Sam's Club today. It was awful. But we're done, and now we can relax for the next few days. I don't go back to work until Wednesday. I was in real need to just relax a few days, without work, and it feels good.

We rented Little Miss Sunshine tonight. An AMAZING movie. I laughed, I cried....it's just amazing. So if you're looking for a movie to rent over this holiday season, be sure to pick this one up.

So I hope everyone has a well and safe Christmas. You've better been good this year cause Santa was watching ::wink wink::

Weekend of Jammies

2006-12-18T18:19:00.001-05:00

Ever just have one of those weekends where you just want to lay around in your jammies all weekend long. That was this past weekend for me. Michael was working, and I did have a few last minute gifts to get, but I just didn't feel like braving the last minute holiday rush, so, me, Evan and Lucas jammied it all weekend long (don't worry, they had baths and new undies, I'm not that gross, LOL).

So I'm working on my new website, little by little. I really didn't think it would take me this long to complete it. But as I was working on it over the weekend, I just had all these doubts pop in my head. What if this doesn't happen? What if I fail? What if, what if, what if? YUCK. I hate those thoughts, I hate doubting myself, I just hate it. I gotta keep telling myself to think postively. It's hard though, really hard.

So I'm loving this sorta kinda new artist Ingrid Michaelson. She's a rocking singer who knows how to rock the piano. I love her stuff. Here's her myspace page, and be sure to check out her "Untitled Christmas Song" on her page, LOVE that song..and good thing she's coming to Philly in February, I will definately have to check her out. XOXO Falyn

Drum Roll Please.....

2006-12-10T22:25:00.000-05:00

Evan helped me out with this part....and I made him scramble them all up for like 5 minutes "to make it really fair," in his words. And the winners are......

Court @ 10:05PM
Juli @ 11:13AM
Cathy (scrapcat) @ 10:12AM

Congrats girls! Email me your addy's and I will get your goodies packed up and I will mail them to you on Wednesday or Thursday-ish.

Thanks ladies for playing. I wish I could give out so much more to everyone who played. I really didn't expect that many people to play, but thank you and thank you again for your wonderful comments.

And good luck to the ladies who emailed Kristen about the DT for zingBOOM. Crossing my fingers for you guys!! :) I hope everyone has a wonderful week, and BOO for tomorrow being Monday.

to the left, to the left...

2006-12-07T07:39:00.000-05:00

First I just want to say thank you everyone for your wonderful comments! They truely mean a lot to me. With my last post, it was just one of those days just missing independence. But I would never give up motherhood. Being a Mom has changed me in so many ways, so much for the better, and if I had never gotten pregnant with Evan when I was 19, I don't know where I would be today. All I can say is that the path I was on in college, was not a good one to be on. But it all changed, once I had become a mom. I became so much more stronger as a woman, and I became grounded in my beliefs, thoughts, etc. But thank you everyone for your kind words. :)

I've been promising some RAK's for the past 2 weeks, so I'm finally posting it. LOL. I'm such a slacker.

Just post a comment below, it could be "Me, Me, ME!!!" or whatever. The photo is just a little peaky at what I'm giving away. I'm not letting you see everything I'm giving away, surprises are fun, and especially around the holidays. (Yes, there are Fontwerks stamps in there, never been used. I received some of the woodmounted ones with LSS, so I'm giving away the ezmounted ones). I've got enough stuff to give away for a couple of people, so post a comment below, and I'll post the winners Sunday night. Good Luck and have a great weekend!

ETA: I almost forgot. A few days ago I got a lovely email from Kristen who asked me to be on her DT for a new kit club she has coming out in January zingBOOM. SO EXCITED!!! She's looking for a few more members to add to her DT and the deadline for the DT call is on 12/10. Check the website out for details.

Knock Knock

2006-12-02T18:51:00.001-05:00

Knock Knock, originally uploaded by Falyn Sarah.

Busy. This weekend is busy. busy cleaning, busy organizing, busy editing, just busy. I came across this photo taken about 2 months ago, and fell in love. LOL. Typical of Evan and Lucas, typical expressions, typical amigos, typical sidekicks. Just typical of them.

I've been very nostalgic lately. Remembering things, experiences, friends. Maybe it's the holidays getting to me. Just remembering alot about what it was like before I was married, before I had two babies, before...meaning independent. I miss it at times. I miss being able to wake up late, taking long showers, going to the bathroom without someone knocking on the door wanting to know what I'm doing, leaving when I wanted to, without having to let someone know I'm leaving, where I was going...etc, etc. I miss hanging with friends until 1AM on Main St in Newark, hanging out at Brew HaHa with my Vanilla Milk Steamer in hand, discussing life, friendships, music, recent reads, concerts and shows, and how one day we could change the world. I sometimes miss that girl. That girl who was independent, carefree, billfree, worryfree.

I remember thinking as a teenager that I could not wait to grow up. If I knew then what I know now...I would think I would have enjoyed every single moment a little bit more instead of being in a hurry to grow up.

So one of my New Years resolutions, and I know I'm a little ahead of myself, is to live the moment, enjoy today, tomorrow will come eventually, but just enjoy today.

Have a great weekend everyone. And PS - with my next post will be some RAKs, I just have to take the photo's then I'm all set!

2006-11-28T21:24:00.000-05:00

Love you Michael! Remember this song?

new skin

2006-11-26T08:22:00.000-05:00

Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend. I did! Me and Michael got most of the Christmas shopping done yesterday, just a few more things to get, but mostly done. I'm just glad it's out of the way and we're not scrambling at the last minute like we normally do. I also got the 30G iPod over the weekend...NICE! I've wanted an iPod for a REALLY long time, and finally got it. So I've been downloading lots of songs etc all weekend.

And this is what we've been doing a lot this weekend....sleeping. The holidays are a great way to catch up on sleep. The older man is my grandfather. Don't worry, he's not dead, just snores a lot. LOL.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-23T09:03:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I hope everyone has a wonderful day! songs

<3 Falyn

So, moving on...

2006-11-20T18:39:00.000-05:00

I've been having long talks with my Mom lately, and I miss her. I mean, she doesn't live that far away only 45 minutes, but I'm lucky if I get to see her twice a month. Just business, jobs, and having two kids...you just get caught up in life. But I really love my Mom, and seriously, she's one of my best friends. And what I love about our relationship the most is that it is brutally honest. She'll tell me when I'm wrong, she says, "Falyn, you're wrong in this and this is why..." or she will agree with me when I'm right and agree with me to the very end. She's honest, no shortcuts...just pure honesty, and I love that. No lies, not making up stories, nothing. Honesty. And I love that she loves Michael so much, like he is one of hers. I LOVE HONESTY!! And sometimes, honesty can just plain hurt, and it can be refreshing, and it can be gratifying all in the same. I love my Mom, and thank you Mom, cause I know you're reading this...thank you for being you and thank you for everything you've done for me. THANK YOU!

Tommorrow is Lucas' surgery. I'm a nervous reck. Say some prayers please. I love that kid so much. So I leave you with a few photo's, of the boogerman himself, and also I visited my grandmother over the weekend, and I just loved this flower arrangement she had on her wall.

Photography Website Update

2006-11-19T21:52:00.000-05:00

Yeah so since some family members are very jealous people, I've put a password on my photosite. So if you still want to view my photo's, email me and I will email you the password. I plan to have my new and improved site up in a few weeks....and keep your eyes peeled for a RAK. I have a HUGE pile of scrappin goodness to give away very shortly.

Happy Fall

2006-11-18T07:44:00.000-05:00

Happy Fall...found this pic from a few weeks ago (Lucas still has his tooth) and fell in love. I'm off to Philly to visit my family. Have a great weekend everyone.

share your crayon...

2006-11-16T19:40:00.000-05:00

Alright, I'm officially the worst blogger....I have stuff to say, I'm just too lazy or too busy to post most of the time. So ALOT has been going on with me.

Well first an most importantly...my baby busted out one of his front teeth this past friday. He was over at my MIL jumping on her giant trampoline, tripped, fell, and somehow hit his tooth on one of the springs. It chipped, cracked, and my DH took him to the dentist that afternoon. The dentist broke off the remaining part that was cracked, but we have to go to the hospital next tuesday to have the remaining part pulled (which is not much). He is now my little hillbilly boy. I told you he was the one that I was going to have to take to the hospital every other month for something that broke. It's now starting. ::sighs:: So just keep him in your prayers that everything will go smoothly.

So, on to Evan....these past two weeks have been rough with him. Not listening, being bad at school...etc. So on Tuesday when I went to pick him up, his teacher walked him out to me and stated that Evan was being very mean in school, pushing and yelling at his friends...etc. So we had a LONG talk that night...and what had gotten on the subject about sharing. Well somehow I came up with this moto, "Share your crayon," which now represents, sharing, being nice to his friends, and listening to his teachers. He got a kick out of it, so every time I kiss him goodbye, I tell him to remember to "share your crayon." (hey, he's 4, they're not doing a whole ot in preschool) And so far, this little talk of ours has worked. Let's see how long our talk lasts.

On another note....I got the Canon 5D and the 85mm 1.8 lense (christmas present early this year) today in the mail. I still have my 30d, but I wanted another camera to keep from changing lenses all the time. Trust me, the 30D is an AWESOME camera. And if your wallet can't really afford the 5D, the 30D is a great way to go. And, I've heard and read good reviews on the new Canon Rebel that came out recently, here is a website that has side by side reviews on both the 30D and New Rebel.

As for the two ladies who made comments in my last post, I haven't forgotten about you. But let me just say, I'm no expert when it comes to digital. I'm a film girl, I learned on film, I taught myself on film, I took classes using film, so I'm learning as I go just like the rest of us. I think it was Lauren who made a comment about not fussing with editing photo's. I'm right with you when it comes to that. I don't really like it much, I don't like sitting at the computer for hours adjusting, editing etc. Although I have foung one thing that is a must most of the time, it sharpening. I always run a sharpening filter over my photo's, as sometimes digital photo's can come out "soft." So if I don't do anything else, I just sharpen. As for cropping, I NEVER crop. In the film classes that I had taken, our professor always called us "dirty croppers" from day one. She taught us that in the dark room is where developing happens, not cropping. Cropping should be done with the naked eye, in the view finder, while taking the photo. Well, we all took it to heart. So in photoshop I do not crop, what you see in my photo's is what I see in the viewfinder. Now, Obviously you have to crop if you want a 4x4 or 6x6 photo, and you don't have a medium format camera to do that, that's just a given. But the rest of the time...not on my watch.

So I hope I've helped you ladies out. If not...you can email me if you have questions: falyn143@verizon.net.

what's going on

2006-11-05T20:10:00.000-05:00

So I've been the bad, bad blogger....what else is new...so here is what has been going on in my life:

1. thought I'd share this cutie pie photo love him to pieces...and thank goodness he's over this viral thing...now he's got a cold.

2. Working on my new photography website, I'm hoping to have it up by the end of the month.

3. I'm working on "purging the excess," in other words, cleaning out my scraproom. Which means in about a week I will be giving away some amazing RAK's, so keep your eyes peeled.

4. Looking into getting another camera. I love my 30d, and I'm keeping it, but I got this idea from a wedding I went to in August, the photographer carried around her two canon's, each with different lenses, so no switching lenses. good thinking.

5. Looking into getting an iMac notebook.

6. Obsessing over these kits.

7. Obsessing over this website.

8. Buying this, this, this.

9. Loving Imogen Heap lately...I've loved her for awhile, but lately, it's just fitting.

10. I've found a new love for coffee....with hazelnut creamer....yummy.

Happy Halloween

2006-10-31T21:31:00.000-05:00

Late posting...oh well. I'm exhausted, 9:30 and ready for bed. Lucas has this viral thing going on, and he's been throwing up/diarea(spelling?) since last thursday. Took him to the doctor yesterday who said it was just a viral thing, and usually lasts 7-10 dys. Lucky me. He's been pretty good today...no upchucking...just still won't eat that much. But I'm just exhausted from lack of sleep with ebing up with him all night.

A few photo's from tonight. Not the best...but oh well, dealing with a cranking two year old was not helping. :) But they got a lot of candy. :) Hope everyone had a good holiday!

it's that time of year...

2006-10-22T17:34:00.000-04:00

when the smell of competition season is in the air. Yup I use to be a figure skater, did it for 16 years of my life. I haven't skated since I was pregnant with Evan, and every fall since then I've missed it...espcially syncho skating...those competitions are so fun...all the hours of on ice and off ice practice, all the time preparing from around August until the competions start in early December, and the 4 hour practices until 2AM...ahhh, I miss it. I miss the team bonding, I miss the addrenaline rush, I miss the traveling....one of these days, I'm gonna get back into it. Maybe next season. :)

saying goodbye...

2006-10-21T08:57:00.000-04:00

To the Fray for a little bit. As much as I love that song right now...I need a little Tori Amos in my life. And one of the best Tori songs (in my humble opinion) out there. One that means so much to me. (hit play down below) So, I'm gonna share a little story right now...

But before I do, I just finished reading Harry Potter 6...so I'm all caught up now, FINALLY. And one thing that I've been liking about the books is this thing called "pensive" (spelling?) where they can take memories out of their heads, place them in a bowl, and view them like they are happening in the present...and it also allows others to view them like they did at that one time...kinda cool...and this blog of mine..(and other people's blogs) kinda reminds me of that...sharing memories, moments...with yourself, family, friends and strangers. So on to the story...

Tori Amos: I started listening to her music when I was 15. I fell in love, she was inspiration, she was beauty, she was telling it like it was. And since I've started listening to her music, I've have gotten the chance to see her live 4 times. Lucky me. And one of those times was a very intimate setting...I was a junior in high school, and I was dating this boy at the time. He knew I LOVED Tori, and she was coming to town. We had already gotten tickets to see her in concert, but one of the local radio stations were giving tickets away to see her in a "Sonic Session." Sonic sessions are this thing that the radio station would put together for bands, where you would have to be caller 13 and would win two pair of tix to see the artist, in an intimate setting with only about 50 other people, candles, dim lighting...etc. Well, that weekend when they were giving the tix away on the radio, I stayed up literally for 72 hours, and would try to get sonic session passes for Tori. Most of the time I got that busy dial tone, one time I got call #11. But no 13. I was so sad. But, the boy I was sating at this time, saw how sad I was, and twic, yes twice...drover about an hour and half to this radio station, waited on the hood of his car at about 4:00 AM, made a sign, and waited for the morning show crew to come in. It was so funny, they talked about him on the show...ect, etc...he became known as "sign boy" they knew that he was doing this for his girlfriend(me)...and finally gave him sonic sessions passes...

WOW, what an experience. It was amazing, I was sitting about 10 feet away from Tori, sitting around her piano, as she played about 6 songs. She took requests, talked to us...all for about an hour. It was lovely. But, the only down side...the boy that I was dating, the one who got me tix, broke up with me 3 days before the show....BUMMER. He still went with me, it was hard. I was so in "love" with him. And then, Tori played this song...it's called "cooling" and I about bawled my eyes out. Very emotional, very in the moment.

So, this song has a lot of meaning to me...not only because of that experience, for other reasons not going to be said...but something I needed to let out, needed to share.

Amazing lyrics from this song: "And is your place in heaven, worth giving up these kisses?"

some photo's....

2006-10-10T19:14:00.000-04:00

are just worth sharing...

Not a whole lot going on my way. I have a boring, dull life.....just kidding. I would say I have an ordinary life....and I'm okay with that. Now, if you knew me 5 years ago...you would know me as living for the drama. Yup, I lived for drama, I fed off of the drama...I was just one of those girls...but it did help me in some creative ways....I was, in my teenage years, an excellent story teller. I could write stories, I could tell stories, and make up some incredible stuff right on the spot. I had an excellent imagination. And the drama, helped.

One of my all time fav songs is "Upside Down" by Tori Amos...this song use to be one of my theme songs when growing up...and besides the whole song just fitting for me, these lyrics stood out above the rest and seemed too fitting: "I found the secret to life, I'm okay when everything is not okay."

And sometimes....just sometimes....I would say things just to say things...to get attention, to draw attention....make up stories to grasp someone's attention, to lead on that I lived a facsinating life, even if it was just an ordinary one. BUT, when I got to college...grew up, I grew out of it...and found out it was okay to live an ordinary life....where nothing super fantastic has to happen each day...or very little drama or NO drama was completely fine....if something big came up in my life...FANTASTIC....but it didn't have to happen every day for me.

Ordinary is fine...to me, it now means that I'm living, I'm breathing, I'm blessed to have two wonderful boys who are healthy, a wonderful husband, two hobbies that I enjoy(scrapping and photography), we have jobs, we have our own house, we have two cars, we're here and living life...without the drama.

I've discovered I don't need the drama to have a fantastic life...and it makes me want to scream when I see women in my life(no names mentioned) that have to make up stuff, make the drama to think they need to live this life where something new has to happen every day....it's about time to just grow up. It's okay to wake up, eat breakfast, get your kids ready, go to work, come home, make dinner, spend time with your family, tuck the kids in bed, watch a little tv, and go to bed...just to wake up the next morning to do it all over again. IT'S OKAY.

Family Reunions

2006-10-01T20:04:00.000-04:00

Michael's Family Reunion today. Literally, out in the boondocks. But a nice, peaceful place to be. Too a few photo's, the boys had a lot of fun throwing rocks into the marshes.

Ewww, tomorrow is Monday. Another dreadful day at a dreadful place. I've set a goal on when I want this photo business of mine to start....my goal is to have the site up and running by March. It seems like forever away, but I'm saving money and doing it that way. No loans, no debt...the good old fashioned way of things. I've promised myself I would not get into debt because of this crazy dream I have. So...saving for lenses, saving for a speedlite, saving for a website, saving for a new computer....and it all takes time and money....I think I need to start playing the lotto too....

My Baby...

2006-09-30T09:41:00.000-04:00

turned two yesterday. ::tear:: I can't believe he's two. That's just crazy to me, it just went so fast, faster than when Evan turned two. So today we're having his Bday party. So, I have a lot of cleaning and errands to do. Luckily, we're having pizza, so not a whole lot of cooking to do. Have a great weekend everyone!

:: an old friend ::

2006-09-26T18:45:00.000-04:00

So, for those of you that don't know, I have ADD. There I said it. Not something I'm proud of, but have to manage to live with it each and every day.

I was diagnosed with it when I was 18 years old. Yup, 18. 2 months before I graduated highschool. Why was I diagnosed so late? Well, because that's when I finally convinced my mom to take me to a doctor to see if I have it. I look back now, and I struggled with school. I managed to get mostly A's and B's and a C here and there, but I struggled. I remember sitting in class trying so hard to hear what the teacher was saying, I remember trying to stare at her/him really hard, thinking that maybe I would be able to pay attention more, and catch a sentence here and there. But most of the time, it would just be me staring at the teacher, in a world of my own, with my thoughts clearly louder than the words coming out of the teacher's mouth. That's really the best way to describe something like that.

Remember those achievement tests? Yeah, I never did well. Especially in the English section. Why? Because they had those damn short stories that you had to read and answer about 10 questions on what you just read. I would read it, but after I read it, I had no idea what I had just read. Seriously. My brain could not register what I had just read. When it came to those sections, I just filled in any bubble, because I knew I wasn't going to be able to do it. My SAT scores...I took them 3 times...and the highest I had received was a 980. That's so embarressing. It really is. Because I knew I was smarter than that. I knew it in my heart, but as much as I tried to concentrate, I just could not do it. I felt like a failure. I really did. But I did manage to get into the University of Delaware, and mostly because I had good grades in school.

Then college came. And at last, I could FINALLY pay attention and HEAR what the professors were lecturing. I could finally read the chapters of my text books, and my brain could finally register what I was reading. And you know what? I enjoyed school, I enjoyed learning, and I enjoyed understanding it all. But with the help of Adderall and Adderall XR.

I've been on and off of it since 2000. This past April I decided to come off of it completely, mainly because I did not like how it made me feel. When the drug would wear off at night I would get these horrible headaches, I would feel ancy, and I just became aware that I was taking a drug to help me act in a "normal" way. I didn't want to become dependent on it. Well today was the first day I had taken it since April, mainly because I'm starting a new position at work, and I want to learn and take in what I'll be doing. Today was a reminder of why I decided to come off of it in the first place. I hated every second of today, and am still feeling the side effects of it. It's such a double edge sword, I love the fact that I can finally concentrate, but I hate the feeling of being "on it."

So, I've been thinking a lot lately what if this passes down to Evan and Lucas? I know teachers and doctors are quick to suggest that kids have ADD and ADHD these days., and are quick to put them on meds. I'm glad that I was diagnosed at 18. Even though it sucked in school, I'm glad I did not become dependent on something like that at an early age, and I'm glad I got to experience the struggle and the determination of getting good grades. I know as a mother, I want the best for my boys, and if they are some day daignosed with ADD/ADHD, I know I will resort to other options before putting them on any type of meds.

I'm in love...

2006-09-23T09:12:00.000-04:00

Alright, so I've neglected my blog. Sorry. Watch the video below...I love the video, love the show, love the song. Grey's Anatomy...I SERIOUSLY can not get enough of this show. I've watched this show since the first season, and I've been hooked ever since, even got Michael hooked on it (I have that effect on him, especially when it comes to TV shows). I don't watch much tv, with the exception of Grey's, Lost, Project Runway, and occasionally Survivor, but that's fading for me, I haven't been sticking with it these past few seasons. It's getting repetitive.

But back on to Grey's...it's amazing, it's amazingly written, the characters are amazing, and the actors are the perfect fit. And Patrick Dempsey I'm just SOO in love with him. And Meredith...she reminds me of the old me...the dark and twisty me of high school/college.

And some of the lines they say...so poetic, even if it's not poetry...when Callie says in this past episode, "We're all 17 years old. This is high school with scalpels." (or something to that effect)...when she said it, I was like, "Wow, it really is." And maybe why I love it so much is becuase it is a lot like the high school/college drama that I had once experienced, except with adults. Trying to find their way, trying to find love, trying to find out what makes you, you. But then again, maybe that's what everyone, everywhere, experiences all through out our lives...I wouldn't know since I've only experienced 24 years of life, and this is what I know right now. I can see a lot of what they experience in my life.

I really LOVE this show....it's like reading a book. Like you experience that connection with the characters just as you would read a book. Whatever it is, the writers are amazing. So if you don't watch Grey's Anatomy...START, please start....it really is truely amazing.

Let the countdowns begin....

2006-09-10T20:30:00.000-04:00

Okay, so is anyone else getting ancy about the shows kicking off?

Survivor: 4 days
Grey's Anatomy: 11 days
Lost: 24 days

And the movie that I've been DYING to see is The Last Kiss: 5 days! You know I'm dragging Michael to go see it this friday. I've been whining about it to him for the past 2 months, I think he'll be happy to see it just so I get off his case and stop nagging him. Hence the new song below.

And I have to get the Lost second season on DVD. Maybe a trip to target next weekend will do the trick. AND Grey's 2nd season comes out this tuesday!!! AHHH, all this money, where is it going?

And check out this clip to Lost. http://spoilerslost.blogspot.com/2006/09/spoiler-new-trailer.html
Kinda chilling with "Fenry's" (fake henry) voice doing the narration. I'm so excited for Lost to start up, to get my mind going again. This summer has been dragging.

AHHH! I'm dying with anticipation.

It's Friday!

2006-09-08T06:53:00.000-04:00

Finally Friday! Thank the good Lord for that. And guess what that means. My dare is up. So unreal, really! Love what the dare girls did. Can't wait to see yours!

http://fortheloveofeffers.blogspot.com/

2006-09-06T20:28:00.000-04:00

How excited am I?!?! I had my first newborn shoot, okay, first shoot EVER that is someone not in my family. But she is a friend, and her mother use to watch Evan for the first year and a half of his life. So I knew who I working with. These are just two of my fav's. LOVE THEM! But I hate how blogger distorts the photo's. Click on them and they get better.

ring the alarm

2006-09-06T07:06:00.000-04:00

Alright, I'm seriously about fed up with my work. I've been fed up since about January, but I think I'm about to hit my breaking point. My manager, comes up to us last week making it seem we had mandatory overtime, we had to sign up for at least one hour of OT. So I signed up for today. Well I go to work yesterday and I cancel it because 1. It was not right for my manager to come up to us and say WE HAD to do OT (mandatory OT is not required at my job), and 2. Because I scheduled my first photoshoot for today, over the weekend (so excited and nervous). So after I cancel it, my manager emails me "are you going to sign up for OT any other day this week?" Ummm....NO! I have a life outside of my job, and trust me, my job is not the first priority in life. It's the last. So no I won't be staying for an extra hour of OT, and no I will not come in on the weekend so I can drive 45 mintues up there, to work an hour, then drive 45 mintues back. NOT happening.

Don't be surprised if I come back fired or I quit, cause I'm about to throw some elbows today. LOL.

Surreal

2006-08-31T21:55:00.000-04:00

WoW!!! I can't believe I won LSS. Seriously?!?! Seriously!! I can't believe it. I really didn't think I had a chance, there was so much awesome talent to go around. Everyone did an amazing job. I'm so happy that I did this, these past four weeks have been so challenging, and I looked forward to every Wednesday. It was fun, I'm glad we all got to bond. I've loved every second of it! So thank you to the effers and thank you to every lady that participated, it was truely a fun ride! I'm still speechless.

Now I must go to bed, because I have an interview for a new position at work. Crossing my fingers for that!

~Falyn

Final Challenge

2006-08-30T19:41:00.000-04:00

LSS #4 Baby. I'm DONE! This was soooo hard for me. My whole head hurts. But I pushed through it and finished. Loved everything about these challenges. I'm sad the games are done.

First Day of School

2006-08-29T06:19:00.000-04:00

Yup that's right. Evan started his first day of pre-K yesterday. I feel old. LOL. Even at 24 you can feel old too. hehehe. He's growing up so fast, and these past 4 years have just flown by. I can't believe it. And I was so proud of him. He wasn't scared, just so excited to meet new friends and get on that bus.

And the first day of school marks the fall for me. Not the middle of September, but first day of school. And I love it. When I was little I loved going for new school clothes shopping and new school supplies. I LOVED it. I love going to pumpkin patches and apple orchards with the boys, and I LOVE Halloween. I love that it's sweater weather with no bulky coats, I love the cleanness of the air. I just love everything about it. :)

And I've made it to Last Scrapper Standing round 4. I'm going crazy with this assignment, but I'm so excited to be able to participate. I love thinking out of the box. Have a great day every one!

P.S. Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments with the last post. It truely means so much to me. Thank you!

( rejected )

2006-08-21T21:09:00.000-04:00

I'm starting to get use to the word. Rejection. That's all about what I'm getting these days by DT calls and etc. Bummed, but getting use to it.

I came across this rubber stamp today by Tim Holtz. It read, "Sometimes on the way to our dreams, we get lost and find a better one." This is my motto from now on. (And Note to Self: I need to eventually get this stamp). I feel this so much lately. Sometimes I forget what scrappin is really about. Sometimes I get lost in these DT calls, get rejected, get bummed, and sometimes feel like crap. Sometimes, I get lost in all this drama and forget why I REALLY do it. I do it for him and him. For these two bright shining faces. For the two little boogers who run around the house in their undies and make constant sound effects. Sometimes, I forget.

And along the way of this scrappin journey (which started 4 years ago), I found my love of photography. I took a photography class to give my pages a little more spark. And what did I find? A love of photography. So maybe, I did find a better dream, a better dream for me. A dream that is just starting. Thanks to all the ladies and their comments on my photography over at Poppy Ink today. It means so much, you have no idea!

Just some photo's of this weekend at the beach. Peace.

dream-like

2006-08-08T20:42:00.000-04:00

I've been missing my photography class that I took. It was so inspiring, so encouraging, and opened my eyes in every way possible. I miss that. I miss being encouraged like that, connecting with people like that, sharing a world of art and stories...sharing a world of photography.

One of my favorite artists that I discovered while taking that class was Sarah Moon. I LOVE her photography. It's dream like, it's gothic, it's a fairy tale, it's beauty.

I discovered so many things from that class, and most of all I learned more about myself through it. A passion for the art, my capabilities, a motivation. I miss it.

I wish I could go back to school..to just finish. And the only thing that's between me and my bachelors degree is my senior year. 10 classes, just 10. And the only thing that's stopping me is the money. ::sighs::

it's too darn hot

2006-08-03T20:17:00.000-04:00

Alright, this is killing me. It's been 95+ degrees every day for the past 6 days, with a heat index of 105+ degrees, it's gross. As soon as I get home from work, and picking up the boys, Evan and Lucas just strip down the their undies and diapies. Man it's times like this I wish our house had central air. We live in a a house that's over 100 years old, we have window units, and it's gross, it takes like two hours for the house to cool down since we have high ceilings. Yeah not fun.

And this is Evan in his room, just disgusted from the heat, in his undies of course. And do you notice the little scribble on his wall to the right of him? Yeah, that would be Lucas experimenting with his artistic side...and that means one more chore that I will be doing this weekend. Now where the heck did I put those Mr. Clean magic erasers?

Stay cool everyone, and if you haven't checked out Ali's entry today, it's a must, totally what I've been thinking lately, with starting a photography business. My thoughts exactly. Peace.

quick post

2006-07-28T21:09:00.000-04:00

You know it's time to stop when you get a photo like this. I took about 100 this afternoon, and Lucas was just fed up with me. Poor guy.

Now it's off of work for the next few days, relaxing and chillin with family.

I can't believe it's almost August. And Evan starts Pre-K at the end of August. It's scary to think I will have a kid in school. I can't believe he's 4, I can't believe he'll be in school. Man, the time just flew.

Have a great weekend everyone! And get excited for all the new CHA products coming out. My most favies are Fontwerks and Hambly!!! WOOHOO!!!

:: lookie, lookie ::

2006-07-20T21:20:00.000-04:00

Look what I got today!!!!!! The 30D!!!!! So effin' excited. My parents bought it for me. I've been bugging for a year and a half to get the 20D, but they went and surprised me with the 30D. WOAH! So excited.

I got the 28-200mm lens, I'm looking to get a 50mm lens soon. I got to play a little tonight, not much though since I had to wait for the boys to go to sleep and it was dark before I knew it. Luckily, it's the weekend tomorrow night, and Michael is off work, and I get to play, play, play! WOOHOO!!!!

:: Mommy's proud ::

2006-07-17T21:50:00.000-04:00

I'm so proud of this boy today. He swam, on his own for the first time (with swimmies of course). But not holding on to anyone, he swam, and swam and swam....for about 45 minutes without holding on to anything or anyone. He did it.

And this is a BIG accomplishment. For the past two summers, the boy has been terrified of the water. I don't know why, because the first two summers of his life, he LOVED it. The boy was a fish.

I'm so proud of him. Not only can he do it by himself, but he conquered a fear, a fear of the water, a fear of swimming. And that's what I'm most proud of.

And you want to know what he said when he got out of the pool today? "Maybe we can go swimming tomorrow."

My Beautiful Mess

2006-07-13T18:23:00.000-04:00

First I want to say thanks ladies for the wonderful comments. And thanks Amber for the encouragement :) It means a lot to me.

So what we have here is my almost 22 month old. You've probably seen him in photo's here and on my LO's, but let's take a minute to meet him.

He's my "beautiful mess." He's my "big mess." A REALLY big mess. The boy is all over the place. Getting into things, CONSTANTLY getting into things. For example, the other day I'm getting ready for work, and I'm running around the house trying to get myself ready and getting the boys ready. I left my juice on the kitchen table, and out of the corner of my eye, there's Lucas getting into my juice and there it goes, spills all over him and all over the floor, so as I'm cleaning up the floor, and finding new clothes for him, there he goes into the bread drawer and starts pulling out pieces of bread and throwing them. It's like this constantly. 24/7, never ending. I'm cleaning up one mess and as I'm cleaning it up, he's off making another mess.

One more story ~ A few months ago, I'm in the kitchen packing my lunch, getting ready for work (do you see a pattern here?) and I know Evan and Lucas are just in the other room, playing on Thomas. They have been quiet for about 3 minutes when I finally notice the long silence (NOT A GOOD THING!). So I walk into the next room, there's Evan playing on Thomas (normal) and then I glance over at Lucas who has gone into the bathroom, taken the toliet brush, and has literally plunged the toliet brush into the toliet about 20 times and painted all my walls with water and the toliet brush, and not to mention, the dining room floor is one huge puddle. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! And I have about 3 minutes to clean it all up, change Lucas, and run out the door to drop them off at my MIL. Yeah.

And one more thing, the boy isn't afraid of anything. SERIOUSLY. The boy gets a kick out of slamming his head in to the wall about 5 times. The boy is 22 months old, and he goes down the BIG slides at the parks HEAD FIRST. Evan, my 4 year old, just started doing that a week ago (after seeing his younger brother do it 100 times). Ever see the show "Viva la Bam" on MTV? Or the show Jackass on MTV? Me and Michael think Lucas is going to be just like Bam. He's gonna be the one jumping off buildings, doing crazy things with skateboards and BMX bikes, he's going to be the son who we have to take to the hospital every month for a new broken bone.

So, meet Lucas Avery Cahall....my beautiful mess.

things to do...

2006-07-11T18:40:00.000-04:00

1. quit my current job

2. live my dreams and start a photography business

3. finish my AMLT projects for the month

4. be happy with everything around me

5. be content that I quit something I hated, and struggle with something I love (photography)

6. I need to be happy

"hold on little buddy"

2006-07-08T22:32:00.000-04:00

Say hello to Rupert aka "Lil Fella." Don't ask me, ask my four year old. So this is what we brought back from the beach today, a hermit crab.

I grew up going to Wildwood, NJ every summer. I remember as a little girl seeing every store sell them. But I never got one, I really didn't want one. Bugs, frogs, creepy crawly things and me don't go well together.

But now that I have two boys, I guess I better get use to it.

Has anyone ever had one of these before? I don't want to kill it, so what's the best way to keep them alive as long as I can? LOL. I'm a beginner here.

a little less than normal

2006-07-07T22:08:00.000-04:00

This is was my dare #34,

I got a little behind on the dares this past week.

So I'm off and have a 4 day weekend. WOOHOO. But for some reason I can never relax when I take a break from work. WHY? Because for some reason I feel like a bad person for taking off, I feel like I'm a slacker for some reason. Weird, I know.

Tomorrow we're headed to Rehoboth Beach for the day, followed by Sunday which is Evan's 4th Birthday party, then Monday and Tuesday (Evan's birthday) I'm off to relax with the boys. So it wil be a fun weekend. Just hope I can push work away from me, and not be in my thoughts.

Everyone have an awesome weekend!

Hambly

2006-07-01T09:17:00.000-04:00

Well I ddin't make the DT (bummer) but I did make Honorable Mention. Which I'm so thrilled about! Congrats to all those girls that made it.

TGIF!!

2006-06-30T07:33:00.000-04:00

Thank goodness it's friday, I live for the weekends. I did this LO last night. I know I need a change, change of work place. It's such a big debate, I can't stand where I work, we need th emoney to surrive, I just need to change though. I need to live my dreams.

1 more day

2006-06-29T22:33:00.000-04:00

Alright now that all my nails are bitten off, I'm dying. A little more than one day until the Hambly DT announcement. Good luck to all the women that posted for it, this is going to be such a cool gig. I just hope, pray that I'm one, but highly doubting I'll make it since I get rejected 99% of the time. ::sighs::

confessions of a glitter girl

2006-06-27T19:05:00.000-04:00

Aight, so check it. LOL. I'm really not into rap music, and not really even into HipHop, blah, blah, blah....but there's always that one song that slips through and it's like BAM! You're singing it all day long, you wake up in the middle of the night and you're singing it, you're in the shower and singing it....and when it comes on in your car, you're blasting it as loud as you can, dancing to it in your car....and you know when you're at a red light and you just happen to glance over at the car next to you and they're giving you this weird look like you should be omitted to the psych ward.

Yeah, well that's me and Gold Digger by Kanye West. I've loved this song since it came out. LOVE IT!!!

And all my high school friends, who knew me as that goth/punk/emo chick are probably saying "WTF?!?!" right about now.

Cheers to Golddigger!
*She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money, She went to the doctor got lypo with ya money, She walkin around lookin like Michael with ya money, Should of got that insured got GEICO for ya moneeey, If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup, WE WANT PRENUP!, Yeaah, It's something that you need to have, Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half, 18 years, 18 years, And on her 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his*

6.25.06

2006-06-25T21:36:00.000-04:00

Happy anniversary to my Michael. We spent the day taking the boys to go see Thomas the train...in the rain!!! We bought the tickets a month in advance so we had no idea. But we trucked around, in the rain, and it was fun. My parents evan came, what troopers! These are just some of the photo's I took.

P.S. ~ Sorry that blogger is making the photo's look distorted, if you click on the photo's, they get clearer.

Two good things in 2 days....

2006-06-24T09:45:00.000-04:00

Well one of my LO's got posted here .....so excited about that! Love those stamps!

And I won a contest here .....and can't say enough good stuff about their products. I love them to pieces and just love creating with their stuff!!

So yesterday me and Michael did yard work all day long. I'll have to take photo's of it today. We are reconstructing our whole front yard. The people that lived here before us thought it would be a good idea to to have the front area in white stone, then they got sick of it, so they just put a tarp down and then put mulch on top of the white stone and tarp....my back is killing me today from all the shoveling of mulch and stone. So we're doing more of that today.

Then tonight we're going to unwind, leave the boys are my inlaws, and we're headed off to dinner just to two of us. YAY for alone time!!

Then tomorrow, we're headed to PA and going to see Thomas the Train..we went last year and Evan LOVED it, and this year will be more fun since Lucas will actually know what's going on. Can't wait!

:: the wedding that never was ::

2006-06-21T20:41:00.000-04:00

6.25.04 ~ the wedding that never was. I found this today....our wedding invatations. I designed them, made them myself. Just a printer and some celery colored bazzill. I LOVED them. Then about 4 months before we were to get married. I found out I was pregnant. Well the wedding was off, the band was canceled, the photographer that we hired (AND I SO LOVED HER WORK!!) was cancelled, the hall was cancelled, and all the down payments gone, and had to inform the 175 guests it's off.

And then about a month before 6.25.04 we decided to still get married on this date....but make it small....REALLY small. I was 6 months pregnant at the time, and HUGE! It was just our parents, our grandparents, and Michael's brother and sister. We got married at our church, and just had a little get together dinner at my MIL, then Michael and I headed to the DE/NJ ferry, took the ferry over to NJ and stayed in Cape May a few days. It was nice. And we were happy.

I look back now, and was kinda relieved to get pregnant. The wedding planning was stressing me to no other. The only thing I really miss about it is not having our photographer. I love her work and I wish we had those photo's. That's the only thing I miss really.

So as 6.25.06 is approaching quickly, the rest of this week my blog (including the video) is dedicated to the wedding that never was, the wedding that was, and the 2 years since then.

I love you, my Michael. :: kiss kiss ::

Hambly

2006-06-17T11:04:00.000-04:00

Can I just say how much I love this Hambly goodness stuff?!?! LIKE SERIOUSLY! I really do. It's such a great product, it's so fun, and new and fresh, and I'm so passionate about it. Is that weird? I just love it so much. I submitted for the DT contest, and I'm crossing all my fingers and all my toes that I get it. I've never submitted for an actual product before, maybe because I was intimidated. But why not submit for my most favorite product of all?

This is for Dare #32. An awesome dare, go and do it now! Have a great week y'all, and Happy Father's Day all you dads out there!

TMJ

2006-06-14T20:19:00.000-04:00

So today I have been diagnosed with TMJ Syndrome. Bascially what it means is I have a problem with my jaw joint. A REALLY bad problem. I've been having pain on the left side of my face/ear/head/neck/cheek since February. I went to my Dr. a few times, she said it's probably an ear infection, gave me 2 treatments of antibiotics and nothing helped. So finally a few weeks ago, she referred me to an Ears, Nose and Throat Dr. I went there today, and was diagnosed with TMJ.

Can I just say that one of the most painful experiences is having a doctor stick his fingers in your jaw joint while you open and close your mouth about 10 times. And he says, "Does that hurt?" ummm..."HELL YEAH, LIKE A BITCH!!"

Bascially what it stems from is stress and my jaw is apparently not aligned properly. So why the hell did I have braces for 2 and 1/2 years and have to wear that crazy head gear when I was in middle school?

I'm just happy I've been diagnosed with something. I was beginning to think I have a tumor or something. After I was diagnosed, the Doctor brought out his tape recorder and started talking in it like they do and going over all of my symptoms, he was at it for about 5 minutes. It was a strange 5 minutes for me...listening to someone else ramble off my symptoms, I felt like I was under a microscope, I felt icky to be in my skin.

So now for the next two weeks, I have to take 9 (yes, N-I-N-E) Motrin a day. WTF?!?! I'm gonna be a pill popper for the next two weeks. Good Lord, this better do something, I'm just tired of being in pain.

so check it...

2006-06-10T14:50:00.000-04:00

So I did it! I chopped it all off. Not long enough for Locks of love though. Just a few inches too short. They need 10 inches for it, and 1 ponytail = 3 wigs. WOW! So if you have long hair and are wanting to get it chopped, donate it! I LOVE my new hair! Now I'm feeling the urge to go get something pierced or get another tattoo. hmmmm....

I don't think you're ready for this jelly...

2006-06-04T10:07:00.000-04:00

alright folks....I'm getting it! FINALLY, after a year and a half wait, I'M GETTING THE CANON 20D!!!!!! How effin' cool is that?

After some MAJOR convincing the parents, they finally caved and are buying it for me. Now to start something, anything...some side business...something!!!

I'm so excited.

happy memorial day

2006-05-29T12:54:00.000-04:00

Happy day off everyone! Hope everyone's eating some awesome grub this weekend. It's the offical start for BBQ season for us. Just posting a LO using the awesome Hambly goods.

Is this thing on part 1

2006-05-21T09:45:00.000-04:00

Okay So I'm a bad blogger. I've been home from Disney for about 2 weeks, and I started last week to blog about it, but then I got lazy and didn't finish. So all in all it went well. Well, besides the part of Michael getting shingles on his hand, and the part where our car wouldn't start when we went to go to Target to get bandages for Michael's hand, and the part where we got stuck on the Tower of Terror....it went well. So read on to the next two posts as well.
We went on the new Roller coaster at Animal Kingdom called Expedition Everest, AWESOME!!! Forwards and backwards through a mountain...very cool!

Is this thing on part 2

2006-05-21T09:28:00.000-04:00

Went on Tower of Terror and GOT STUCK about 3 feet before they we going to put us in the chamber to drop us. We were sitting there for about 10 minutes while they techs talked over the loud speaker about "shutting down the left side a rebooting" At this point I was flipping out that no one was coming to get us. After about 10 minutes of them talking over the loud speaker, the ride started and they CONTINUED TO DROP US!!!!!!! I WAS FLIPPING OUT. Never again will I go on that ride!

Me and Michael Getting a lil' silly waiting for Fantasmic to start.

Went to Morraco and saw some pretty cool things that I wanted to put all over my walls in my home.

Went to Japan and got some awesome Japanese papers that I intend to use shortly on a LO.

:: is this thing on? :: part 3

2006-05-13T10:27:00.000-04:00

Went to China, ate some real chinese food and saw these lovely buildings.

On the road trip home, we stopped in Georgia for some grub at Mickey D's, and this happened to be next to Md's, and we couldn't figure out why they just didn't take the sign down instead of going out and buying a can of spray paint to say it was closed(and it was really closed too, some random person didn't just spray this on.)

Took some crazy shots (well, really me forgetting to zoom out before taking the shots) on the way home.

And we drove past South of the Border TWICE. Too bad we didn't stop and see all the sombraros.

AND NEVER AGAIN WILL I DRIVE 14 HOURS TO GET TO FLORIDA....SCREW MY FEAR OF FLYING....I'M GONNA DO IT!!!

:: off to Florida ::

2006-04-28T19:34:00.000-04:00

So we're off, yup...FINALLY after a year of waiting, FLORIDA HERE WE COME!!!! The boys are shipped off to my mom's and we won't be back until May 7th! WOOOOHOOOO!!

So Shakira is back in my blog, and she's celebrating that me and Michael are enjoying our vacation in FL.

(and you know I was practicing my dancing in the mirror. LOL.)

One More Thing

2006-04-22T18:07:00.000-04:00

And the new video is in honor of me and Michael leaving for Florida 6 days...WOOHOO!!! It's our honeymoon...even though we've been married for almost 2 years...but I was 6 months pregnant when we got married, so we couldn't really go anywhere....

We're staying at the Boardwalk Resort in Disney...and we'll be doing a lot of partying in downtown Disney...

And you know you dance like this in your room, when no one is looking...HAHAHAHA!!

:: baby fever ::

2006-04-22T17:44:00.000-04:00

That's right, I said it. I'm getting baby fever. All these scrapbookers are preggo or having new babies...and I see all these photo's and it's driving me insane. I want another little one. NOW! LOL.

But the problem....I don't want to be pregnant. I will admit it...I absolutely, 100%, without a doubt....HATE being pregnant. I do. And probably most of you think I'm this horrible person for saying it. And I absolutely HATE when women come up to me WHILE I'm pregnant and say to me, "Oh, don't you just love being pregnant?" I want to bitch slap them.

And I've been through it twice, and it didn't get any better the second time around. And until you walk in my shoes....don't judge me for hating pregnancy.

The first 5 months I get really sick, NO, I mean REALLY sick. Morning sickness 24/7, no stopping, throwing up like 12x a day. And it was just worse with the 2nd pregnancy, because I will still changing diapers with the first one, and it was just bad. I would literally have to hold the throw up in my mouth until I finished changing the diaper, then go to the bathroom to spit it all out of my mouth.

And maybe it's bad because I'm pretty small to begin with, and I have no hips whatsoever, so my stomach stick 3 feet out in front of me....SERIOUSLY!! If you looked at me from the back, I do not look pregnant. Once I turn around it's like an "OVER-SIZED LOAD" coming at you.

And then the last 4 months is nonstop heartburn.

Oh, and with the second one I had a c-section...and you know what my doctor said after Lucas was out and she was done stitching me up? (BTW, I had a c-section because Lucas was laying sideways instead of head down) She says, "I don't know how you did it. Your folopian tubes were twisted around and Lucas was acutally laying the right way in your uterus, it was your Uterus that was twisted around sideways." WHAT THE HECK?!?!?! IS THAT NORMAL?!?! CAN THAT ACTUALLY HAPPEN?!?!?!

And now you know why I hate being pregnant.

And don't get me wrong, I love the outcome of it, I love being a mom, I love having two little boys to love. But the first thought of being pregnant makes me want to go running in the opposite direction.

Happy Easter!!!

2006-04-16T07:08:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to say Happy Easter everyone!!!

:: Real Women ::

2006-04-09T14:19:00.000-04:00

So the Effers did it again, another AWESOME dare. Love this one.

I thought up some good themes, but this one stuck out in my mind when I came across this photo. Me and my college friend and roomie, Becky. Funny thing, she's Miss Delaware this year, and the Miss America committee most likely wouldn't like to see this photo...but hey, these were our college years.

And the reason I just HAD to do this LO, well..because in college, you're broke. Especially if you didn't have a job (like me), and you lived off the $50 a week you got from your parents (like me), and when you spent a lot of that money ordering dominoes at 2AM 3x a week, and DP Dough 2x a week, and Cluck-U wings once a week, while gaining those 15 extra college pounds (LIKE ME), you only have money left to get beer. And the disgusting beer at that...like Natty Ice (aka Natural Ice) that's like $5.99 for a case. But hey, you wanted to get smashed, and it got you there.

So hold your mugs and cans high, ladies...cause REAL women drink BEER!!!! CHEERS!!!

:: I'm standing on my soap box tonight ::

2006-04-07T19:28:00.000-04:00

You know what makes me sick? THIS makes me sick!

Whoever thought that this would be a GREAT idea, was WRONG. Dead WRONG! If you don't feel like reading it, here's what's going on.

Delmarva (the only electric company for people in Delaware, besides the electric companies if you live in towns), dropped the bomb on all of Delaware about a month and a half ago that they are raising their prices by 59%. YUP, 59%. WTF?!?!?! Delmarva powers Maryland and Delaware. Delmarva went to MD first, spoke to MD officals and said, "We want to raise prices by 59%" You know what MD officals said? "WTF!!!!!!" and they said, "No we care about our MD people, get the hell out of here, the prices are staying the same." So then, Delmarva came to Delaware with this plan, went to the most horrible governor ever, Ruth Anne Minner, who says, "Sure, we hate all the Delaware people, we WILL raise out electric prices by 59%. These Delaware people, they don't need to spend any money on anything else, with gas prices going up, we'll just throw in more money for electric too!!!!"

59%....let me just make this a little clearer for you. Say you pay $150 each month for electric now....you will not be paying $310 a month. THAT'S MORE THAN MY CAR PAYMENT EACH MONTH!!!!!!!! And what the hell are elderly people going to do, the ones that live on a fixed income of social security...they won't be able to afford it, they will not be turning on their air conditioners this summer, and you know what it's going to result to? DEATH. I have a feeling a lot of people are going to die this summer from heat strokes because people won't be able to afford this raise. The Delaware economy is going to go down so much, no one is going to be able to spend money on other things.

This is insanity.

:: complete scariness ::

2006-04-03T22:02:00.000-04:00

You know what's scary? Myspace.com is scary. You find people, that you really don't want to find...and people manage to find you. People that you want to forget. I've come across some of my high school friends through myspace...and maybe my whole graduating class (there were only 45 of us). It's like one person is still friends with another person, and that person is friends with another person...and on and on and on...that chain keeps going. And especially in Delaware...everyone knows everyone.

Like what happened a month ago at work. I started talking to this girl a work, we started talking about our husbands, where we lived, etc....I told her I was from Smyrna, and she said "Oh I have some friends from Smyrna, I make fun of them all the time." (long story). Anyway, so I manage to tell her I've only been living in Smyrna for a year, so I don't really know anyone down here, etc. So the next day, she comes up to me and says, "Oh yeah, I started to tell my friend from Smyrna about you, and they already know you." WTF?!?!?! How, because I don't know anyone down here, except my DH family. Yeah, turns out I know her friends from my Freshmen year in college....weird.

And not to change the subject, but my DH was just on the news right now. A shiftmate of Michael's had gotten a call for a disorderly man at a hotel. The man was sitting in back of the State Troopers car when he rips the rador out of the back window. The State Trooper gets out of the car to get to handcuff the guy, then the guy tries to use the radar as a weapon and begins to bash in the State Troopers head with it. The State Trooper shoots the guy, then Michael and a couple other Troopers show up, and Michael and another officer start doing CPR on the guy. The guy died. Scariness.....I just have to not think about the stuff that goes on and could go on with my husband being a State Trooper...I worry sometimes, and I don't want to hear the stories sometimes, and I can't imagine how that officer and his family are feeling right now. And it's such a catch 22, you don't feel bad because you were trying to protect yourself, and you don't feel bad when the guy you have in the back of the car is 36 years old, has over 100 arrests and over 50 felony arrests, the guy had just gotten out of jail not even a week ago.....but then you do feel bad, because you just killed someone.

I couldn't do it, I know I couldn't be a police officer, I coudln't deal with everyone's crap, all day long.

And then I think about this....these police officers are putting their lives on the line everyday, so we can live a better life, so our kids can grow up in a "safe" environment, they are the ones that clean up all the crap, so this country can keep moving at a normal pace....and they make about $50,000 a year. And these movie stars make millions and millions of dollars a year, just "playing" How messed up is our society, for real. And I'll say it about teachers, police officers, and doctors.....they don't get paid enough...they are the one's that keep this world turning....and doctors do make a lot of money...but what about all these horrible lawsuits....this society has gotten too greedy.

Oh I could go on and on. But I'm not, I'm going to lay down in bed, next my husband, because I have him here, and he's safe. And I'll pray everyday that it stays that way.

:: goodie day ::

2006-03-31T20:59:00.000-05:00

Well, first I want to just say how much I love this photo of Evan. I got this shot of him today while playing in the backyard. I think this is one of my all times fav photo's I've taken. I just love everything about it, and was so excited when it came out. LOVE IT!
And Look what goodies came in the mail yesterday. And I got more yummies in the mail today. I got my Hambly prints order and my Ali Edwards cafe press order. SOO excited. And I can't wait to play with my Hambly. Looks so fun.

Just relaxing tonight, watching Elizabethtown. We already saw it in the fall when it was in the theaters, but we rented it tonight, because I love it so much. It's a buyer.

Peace y'all!

:: just another manic monday ::

2006-03-26T21:26:00.000-05:00

Can you believe tomorrow is Monday already. ALREADY!!! The weekend just flew by. Depressing.

Well, I didn't get much mojo flow going on, but I did manage to create this of my Lukey Lou. He's definately the ladies man already. He gets all the women when we go out. He plays shy at first, then will get the ladies crackin' up. He's definately going to be a charmer.

Well, it's sunday night....going to watch my Mer/Der action on Grey's and unwinding with a glass of wine.

Have a good Monday everyone. peace.

One love....

2006-03-24T20:41:00.000-05:00

So how can you not love this face? So much love for one small little boy.

Just relaxing this weekend, Michael works all weekend so hopefully I'll get some mojo flow and create.

Oh and check this out! Cool, cool stuff going on there!

Have a great weekend y'all!

:: The big 24 ::

2006-03-14T08:33:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeee, Happy birthday to meeeeeeeee, happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeee.....happy birthday to me!!!

The big 24!!!

Took off work today...I am happy! :)

:: esteem ::

2006-03-11T22:47:00.000-05:00

So the other day, I had a Dr. appointment. I was there for a possible ear infection (Or ear tumor, I always tend to think the worst of things, lol), they called my name, I walked in, first thing was walking down the hall to the scale....stepped on up, 124 big whopping pounds. Did she say 124? 124?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE HECK!?!?! I couldn't believe it. 124 is alot to me....I've always weighed around the 110-115 range...and before I had Lucas I was down to 105 lbs because I was waitressing (long hours, running around, and eating 1 meal a day)...and I wouldn't want to be 105 lbs again..because that was too thin, and I looked gross. But 124? I knew I was gaining some, but 124. WOAH. Maybe it's been the 16 years of figure skating that did it to me....always basically starving yourself to be skinny...or maybe it's just society in general....having this "ideal" look that everyone must have....I don't really know...but sometimes, I wish I just didn't care so much.

I know I need to start exercising again. I grew up exercising everyday....from the time I was 5 years old until I became pregnant with Evan...I firgured skated...like hardcore. Since I was 11 years old, I was up at 4 AM skating before school, then I would go to school, and would head right to the rink to skate another 3-4 hours. Every day...well M-F...and sometimes on Sundays. I NEED to start something again...because I know exercising will make me feel good about myself emotionally as well as physically....to get up and do something and feel refreshed.

I'm starting a new schedule at work this week. I'm cutting back my hours from 8:30-5 to 8:45-2:45....I'm hoping this will make me feel better about my work in general, as well as at home...more time with my boys. I'm excited, really excited. ::smiles::

:: little surprises ::

2006-03-06T22:08:00.000-05:00

I love little surprises....and this was DEFINATELY a surprise to me yesterday...

2 pea's post

I was shocked, excited, delighted...just "WOWED" I couldn't believe they were talking about me :) Thanks to all the ladies for the wonderful comments...so appreciated, you won't even know!!!

Lana tagged me last week, and since I've neglected my blog, I'm just now doing it :) So here it goes....

What scrapbook lines/products, etc. do you dislike?
Stickers, stickers, stickers....not all stickers....but the stickers that are sold in AC Moore and Michael's....not a big sticker fan......with the exception of alphabet stickers.....there's always room for alphabets...oh, don't even get me started! :)

What is the hardest thing you have ever had to scrap?
I would say the story of everything leading to the birth of Evan...just getting down to the nitty gritty of stuff you just want to leave in the past.

What technique do you use more than anything else?
I really don;t have a technique...just go with the flow, and if it fits....I just go with it. Although, I have recently been opened up to the world of embossing, and can I just say how fun it is! Love it.

What is the smallest scrap of paper you save?
American crafts blue polka dot paper.....oh, how I LOVE that piece of paper! :)

Have you ever had any scrapbook related injuries?
Nothing exciting....a paper cut.

Finish this sentence, "If I wasn't a scrapbooker/stamper, I would spend my money on..."
CLOTHES!!! Oh, how I have neglected my closet since scrapbooking came into my life....hey my birthday is 3/14....anyone who wants to get me a gift....CLOTHES, think CLOTHES, LOL.

Give us your best storage or organizational idea.
Piles, and Piles and piles....hey maybe not the best, it works for me, and I always seem to know which thingy is in the pile. Yeah....maybe it doesn't always work, but as soon as I organize my scraproom, the next week it has resorted to piles again.

When you received your first publication/DT notification, who did you tell?
Michael, My mom, My Honey(grandma), My MIL, women at work.

Alright, well I think that's it. I'll be the big 24 on 3/14....it's scary....24....it seems so old.

You know it's bad...

2006-02-25T22:08:00.000-05:00

When you can't find your tape runner in your scraproom.

Yeah, my scraproom is a total disaster. Seriously! Last weekend I started to organize it...and you know the saying that things have to get worse before they get better? Yeah well they haven't gotten any better. I didn't get to finish what I started....and sometime between last weekend and this weekend....things just got a whole heck of a lot worse. I don't even know where to begin at this point. LOL.

So I got this in the mail today. AMAZING!!! Love it, love it, LOVE IT! A must read, a must have. :)

And I'm so getting into the digital element of scrapbooking....well not actually doing digital LO's, but using a lot of the elements to create real life LO's. Photoshop has really opened my eyes. Another obession forming, I can see it. :)

:: photography 101 ::

2006-02-21T22:08:00.000-05:00

Ever have a time in your life, something so great happens, an experience, a moment, a person or whatever it is....and it changes you forever?

I was driving in my car this morning(it's a 45 minute drive to work)....and just thinking about things...I was suddenly taken back to the summer of 2003. That summer I had taken a summer session photography class at the University of Delaware. Only 7 students in the class, a women in her 50's, a high school student, two best friends, a film student, an exchange student, and me. And the best, most artistic teacher ever, a women in her 20's who just finished her masters. Those 5 weeks of that class, changed something in me. The class was M-F from 9AM-12PM. And during those hours (and the many hours, sometimes until midnight, we stayed after to have darkroom time), all 8 of us (including the teacher) had grown a bond. 8 women empowering eachother, incouraging one another, critiquing one another....it was a beautiful 5 weeks. Just having those friendships in my life, even if it was for only 5 weeks, had changed me. We all started the class off wanting to learn more about photography....and what we left with was learning more about photography, learning more about different backgrounds, sharing stories about photographs, seeing the world through someone else's eyes, and memories that will last a lifetime.

Our final class was emotional, we all felt the same way, we all knew we had grown a close bond through art, and we knew there would never be a class like this again.

When fall session started, the 50 year old woman drove one of the transportation buses at UD. I would see her from time to time if I got on her bus, I would see some of the other classmates here and there....and everytime I saw them....it was like sharing this one secret...only 8 of us experienced it.

I will never forget that class, that class had changed me. That was one of my most happiest times in my life....and that class made me fall in love with photography.

The photo above is a photo I took for that photography class.

Stuff

2006-02-19T23:58:00.000-05:00

I just feel really sad right now....like I lost a good friend. Just......sad.

What the heck?!?!!?!?

2006-02-19T23:15:00.000-05:00

Seriously?!?! SERISOULY?!?!? George and Mer are getting their groove on. Yeah didn;t think that one would be happening that fast.

So the weekend is over....went by too fast like always.

Staying up for DT calls. SO nervous.

Seriously?!? SERIOUSLY!?!?!

2006-02-18T14:48:00.000-05:00

Okay...so how addicted am I to Grey's Anatomy. SERIOUSLY!! I love it, like all week long I'm talking about it...I'm talking about it at work to friends...LOVE IT! I want to be Mer. I love Mer...she's like the coolest thing that's happened since scrapbooking has entered my life. SERIOUSLY!!!

ANNNND to top it ALL off....look at this:

http://www.greyswriters.com/

Seriously, just read it...you'll fall in love. With the writer, with the show....with EVERYTHING! I read her blog the other day, and it was like, WOAH, AMAZING, INSPIRING, something like how I use to write, MAGICAL, SUCK-ME-IN-PAGE-TURNER-WRITING!!! LOVE IT. Another obession. WOW!

Alright back to design team scrapping :)

:: snow ::

2006-02-13T22:41:00.000-05:00

I got some good shots of the boys playing in the snow. And I played with photoshop adjusting the colors. Very cool! I'm liking it lots. I just got photoshop 2.0, I figured I needed to start somewhere and the basics would be the best place to start.

I also got my Jenni Bowlin kits in the mail today. SOOO fun and yummy, can't wait to create with it. :)

I FINALLY got my CJ back....Thank the good Lord for that. I thought I wouldn't see it again. My suggestion to whoever wants to be in a CJ....DON'T DO IT!

Still looking for a new job....any suggestions would be extremely helpful. :)

Signing off for tonight :)

An hour and a 1/2 to go...

2006-01-31T23:32:00.000-05:00

Till we can get the Jenni Bowlin Kits. WOOHOO!! And I'm really staying up until 1AM to get it. How sad am I? I must love scrapbooking that much.

Oh, I hope I can stay up.

{ i wanted to stay, i wanted to play, i wanted to love you }

2006-01-30T22:03:00.000-05:00

So much meaning behind these lyrics.....they are from DMB song #41. This song got me "into" DMB in highschool. Still one of my very favorite songs today. LOVE IT! I need to do a LO on these lyrics, just have to find the "perfect"photo for it.

Anyway, I was in a inspiration mood this weekend. I've been thinking about this LO forever. This was inspired by a Tori Amos CD cover. I just thought it was so pretty and had to do it. The orange "fall" isn't as bright in realy life.

This is of Evan this past fall at the pumpkin patch.

Anyway, CHA is this week and I soooo wish I was there. All the new yummies and goodies are out and I want to see the latest and the greatest. Oh, how I envy all those little CHAer's......but maybe, CHA summer here I come. (hoping and wishing and hoping and praying).

Anyway, have a good we ya'll!

:: confusion ::

2006-01-24T22:10:00.000-05:00

Confused....really confused. I'm just at a point in my life where i'm just like, "blah." I really don't know what I want to do. Well, I know I want to be a scrapbooker when I grow up :) But this other stuff....the job that I MUST go to to make money....it's killing me. Just plain wearing me down. I feel like everything I look at now, scrapbooking is behind it. Scrapbooking is when I'm at my happiest (besides being with my family, that's a given). So, I don't know what I want to do with it....but I want to DO something with it.

Now, back to job searching. ::sighs::

( tag, I'm it }

2006-01-22T23:20:00.000-05:00

Here's a photo of the Lukey Monster. I love his hair, and it's especially fun in the bath tub cause you can do crazy things like this! HAHA. I'm trying to convince Michael to give him a mohawk this summer. He's not liking the idea much, at least that's what he says. But he has that look in his face every time I mention it, like, "oh that would be so cool, but I'm too afraid to do it," kinda of look. I still have a few months to convince him. :)

Okay, so I was tagged over a week ago by Jill :) I have neglected my blog the past 2 weeks so what better way to start again by being IT!!! :) Here goes......

Four jobs you've had in your life:
1. Pottery Barn
2. Public Relations at University of Delaware
3. Waitress at Applebee's and Iron Hill Brewery
4. HSBC Bank

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Sweet Home Alabama
2. The Fifth Element
3. Underworld
4. Chasing Amy

Four places you have lived:
1. Philadelphia, PA
2. Elkton, MD
3. Newark, DE
4. Smyrna, DE

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Lost
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Survivor
4. Any reality shows on MTV (over and over and over again)

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Orlando. FL
2. San Deigo, CA
3. Outer Banks, NC
4. Colorado Springs, CO

Four websites I visit daily:
1. Ebay
2. 2 Pea's
3. AMLT
4. Scrapmuse

Four of my favourite foods:
1. Pizza
2. Aussie Fries from Outback Steakhouse
3. Celery w/ Bleu Cheese dressing
4. Tiramisu (however the dessert is spelled)

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. On a beach, somewhere HOT!
2. Sleeping
3. On vacation
4. In Hawaii

Four bloggers I am tagging:
I'm not going to tag anyone, because everyone's blog I look at, they have already done it a gazillion times over....:)

:: sugar we're going down ::

2006-01-10T18:50:00.000-05:00

Alright....So I'm going to say it.... I HATE MY JOB!!!! Asolutely, 100%, without a doubt...HATE IT!! Not just a little, not so-so.....but so much that I want to scream, pull my eyes out, rip my hair out, just take a gun and shoot it right at me, kind of way HATE IT!!!!!!!!!! It's something I never wanted to ever do or could ever see myself doing for the rest of my life. It's horrible, I feel like nothing is ever appreciated, EVER!!! All day long, email after email about how we're doing something wrong....it's so degrading. NEVER ever any good emails. And it's not that I'm doing something wrong, or I don't know how to do it...I'm doing it the right way, and it's good....but one little mistake on something, like no one is ever allowed to make a friggin mistake, and it's like shit hit the fan, and ewwwwwww you're in trouble.

SOMEONE send me a friggin good email! Make me feel appreciated. (I'm not saying whoever is reading this to do it, I'm just directing it at my work). They don't care about their employees at my work. There was this one time this woman had a miscarriage at my work...and do you know what they did?!?! THEY HAD WRITTEN IT UP AS AN INCIDENT THAT SHE LEFT WORK EARLY!!!! Those effers!!!!!!!!! How ignorant is that???? I HATE MY WORK!!!!!!!! I HATE MY JOB!!! SOMEONE PLEASE JUST SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL HOLE!!

And my job makes the rest of my life suck, it really does. And I know work is not life. Family is life, and my family doesn't suck. But my job puts me in a pissy ass mood. It makes me feel bad about myself....and that's not cool. AT ALL! And that's why my job makes the rest of my life suck.

I need to find a new job, QUICK!!!

P.S. ~ sorry for the venting....I just needed to....vent.

:: gettin some ::

2006-01-02T18:47:00.000-05:00

Mojo that is. Starting to get some creative juices flowing. I felt like I've been in such a rut for the past 3 months, ever since we moved into the new house....but it's coming back...very slowly.

I don't want to go back to work tomorrow...I REALLY don't want to. Work just makes me miserable....and it makes other aspects of my life just that much more not fun.

Oh well, this is life for now....and hopefully only a short while longer.

( a new year )

2005-12-31T22:20:00.000-05:00

So far, 2005 is going to be good. I found out about a week a and half ago that I'm going to be on the design team for www.amillionlittlethings.com for 2006! I'm super excited, this will be my first DT ever!!!

Anyway, here's some photo's of Christmas. This was me and Michael's first turkey that we cooked together, and it came out great! It looked like a Martha Stewart turkey it was sooo good! Have a Happy New Year everyone!!!

SHHHHH......

2005-12-20T18:51:00.000-05:00

I got a secret......shhhh, can't tell yet :)

:: more photo's ::

2005-12-18T12:18:00.000-05:00

And I got some photo's of the boys.....they are supposed to be for their Christmas photo, I couldn't really get any good ones of them since they were not working with me....but they're still too darn cute anyway!!!

ANNNND...check out this cool site.....it was a real kick in the ass to me....everything that I NEED to be reminded of...made me smile....Eight Principles. Enjoy :)

::lookie, lookie::

2005-12-18T11:33:00.000-05:00

I got something...........

Something gooooood! A ditigal camera. Not the Canon d50....not yet.....Have to save up for that one. But I just wanted to get a small one for when we go to Florida and to take one quick trips. I got the Kodak dx7590. I like it lots!!! :)

Took some photo's of our Christmad tree. We had major problems with this tree...MAJOR problems. Just so happy we finally go it up.

{ love, love, love }

2005-11-29T19:46:00.000-05:00

Can I just say how much I love this man! He is definately the best thing that has happened to me (besides Evan and Lucas). He was there when no one else wasn't, he's my best friend in the whole world...I just love him to pieces...he's my Michael. This photo and LO is from our 1 year anniversary for being married. I love you my Michael, you're the best! ::kiss kiss::